20100811 Alpha et Omega

I put the final changes on the screenplay for ROAD KILL last night, with the help of my proofreader and wife, Janice.

With that, I’ve come full circle. RK started as a screenplay, but I had some issues with it, so I shelved it for a while. I then turned to the novelization to work through those.

 By going to the long form, I could explore the motivations and get deeper into the characters a bit. I added a few extra scenes, eliminated others. The book is 99% complete, I am going through a proof copy and have marked up about every other page. The cover also came out about 20% too dark, so I fixed that with the help of my friend and photographer extraordinaire, Bill Spangler of Rose Island Photo.  I need to go back into InDesign and make the changes, reload it to CreateSpace, and order another proof. The plan is to have ROAD KILL ready in paperback by the end of August 2010, if not sooner.

Adapting it back to a screenplay took a lot less than I thought, but it still was a massive effort. I wrote new scenes to replace interior dialog. 








Below is an example of one I really like (forgive the formatting it doesn’t translate in the blog):

INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE - NIGHT

Jax’s office is dark. Light comes from a old stereo. A blues tune plays. Jax leans back in his chair. Half empty bottle of top shelf bourbon open on the table. Tumbler in his hand.

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. JAX’S CHILDHOOD KITCHEN - DAY

Lower-class kitchen with 1960’s era furnishings.

YOUNG JAX (14,) with a buzz-cut in a white t-shirt and jeans. He eats a peanut-butter & jelly sandwich. A beat-up ball glove and a half-empty glass of milk atop the Formica table in front of him.

Jax hears something outside, walks to the back door with the half-eaten sandwich in one hand. The sun shines on the screen door, so it is hard to see out. YOUNG SOPHIE (14,) appears at first as a shadow at the screen door.

As she moves closer, Jax sees a blonde mane frame her high cheekbones and pouty lips. Faded hip-hugger jeans cut off into short shorts, a man's white dress shirt tied off below her breasts. She is barefoot.

YOUNG SOPHIE

(dreamlike, coy)

Jax Hayes, this is one fine summer day. You come on out here and play with me.

The sandwich drops to the floor, makes a mess of peanut butter and jelly on the clean linoleum, as the shadow of the closing screen door crosses it.

BACK TO PRESENT

It’s not Shakespeare, but I like it. In less than half a minute, I was able to show how long he’s known the girl, and foreshadow the destructive nature of Jax’s (the lead character) relationship with his ex-girlfriend Sophie. She left him almost 3 decades ago, but he’s still holding out a torch for her. I know it’s tough to judge out of context with the rest of the script. Jax leaves his baseball and PBJ childhood simplicity for the feminine wiles of this mysterious siren, making a mess of things in the process. Not bad for a thirty minute re-write.

I have two contest deadlines I will now meet; I will explain why they are important to me in my next blog.

Keep writing!

Mark E. Poole